If somebody told you we were just your average ordinary family, not a care in the world... somebody lied. In a state far away, a family of epic proportions is being made the likes of which the world has never seen. Is it the Avengers? No. Is it the Justice League? Ha, you wish. It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's THE MURPHY'S (Listen to this while reading to get the full effect. ).
Who are the Murphy's? Glad you asked. Lets look at the roster:
- The ability to leap baby gates in a single bound.
- The gift of love to those around her.
- Mom-vision: The ability to know what going on in other rooms of the house, without being in them.
- Mom Sense: A specific genetic mutation that allows her to know when someone is getting into trouble or doing something they shouldn't be.
- Julia Child Factor: Able to make tasty food out of anything in the kitchen.
- Rapid Healing: The ability to make boo-boo's and owies go away with a touch or a kiss.
- All the climbing ability and mischief of a monkey. She climbs steps, ladders, rounded ladders, goes down slides (headfirst and backwards), climbs chain ladders, rock walls, etc.
- Rapunzel Hair. Trust me you don't want to tangle with her long locks.
- The Power of Friendliness: Never meets a stranger. Always greets everyone with a "Hello. How are you?"
- Prayer Power: Will lay hands on you and pray if you get an owie and say "Jesus heal".
- Amazing Intelligence: Like a human sponge she soaks up everything. She constantly surprises us with what she knows day by day.
- Fearlessness: Always likes a new challange and trys to find a new creative way to get to whats shes trying to get to.
- The Incredible Helper: Don't make her helpful, you will love her when she's helpful : ). In moments of need she becomes a giant, hulking helper and puts things in the trash, the sink, gives her brother his bottle and pacifier, carries bags, sweeps the floor, and so much more!
- Speed Force: Able to crawl faster than a speeding vacuum cleaner.
- Strength: Stronger than 2 babies of average size.
- Spider-like climbing ability onto low surfaces.
- St. Bernard factor: The ability to drown you in drool.
- Sonic Scream: A Banshee like wail that can pierce the toughest of ear drums and render an attacker senseless.
Papa Murphy / Aka The Dynamic DAD
- Stronger than five 2 year olds.
- Able to walk at speeds faster than average.
- Cooking abilities that would bring Bobby Flay to his knees.
- Super Smile: The ability to defeat a foe with one flash of his stupendous grin.
- Invulnerably to crying, whining, tantrums, and pouting.
- Father Factor: The ability to do all things a dad should do such as handyman work, rough housing, bed time stories, dressing kids in mismatch clothes, and the inability to skillfully do a daughters hair.
Be prepared world they are here among you. In brightest day, in blackest night, they will be there because with a great family comes a great responsibility.
Excelsior!
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